i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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