It's Friday. Sex?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
