I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
