he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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