We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have post one night stand depression
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
