I wanna bring you to show and tell
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
