She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you made out with another girl for some wings
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
