I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
