Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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