That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
