I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
