Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
