Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
