yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
