I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
