Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
