please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so that wasnt chicken after all
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
