Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
