I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
