Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
