whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
