So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
pop tarts are not kleenex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
