We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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