Already got asked if we're dating
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
