dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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