she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
