May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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