It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
