elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
