True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ok first of all what the fuck
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
