i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
