Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.

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(480): View more from Arizona

library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...

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(302): View more from Delaware

But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.

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