that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize