if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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