I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
