Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
