i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize