theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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