it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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