3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
