turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
