Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
