I want to make a zoo with you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
