dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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