You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
