In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
