I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
