How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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