Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
