Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
