I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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