It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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