i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
