i think i have herpe
just one?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
