how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
