my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
