I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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