This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I accidentally burped into my bong.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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