see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
